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1:00 a.m.

5/19/2011

7 Comments

 
Picture
The blues on Halloween.
I am not exactly sure what I am doing.

Okay, that's not entirely true. If you happen to be a potential sponsor or participant, don't sound the alarm bells just yet. 
Hear me out!

I began mapping out this project in my head sometime in the early fall of 2010. Soon after, I told a friend about it and then my parents and before I knew it I was pulling an all-nighter to create the first version of this very website. Fast forward 7-ish months and here I am only 60 days away from my departure date. Holy CRAP!

It has been an absolute whirlwind and the panic is starting to set in. Is this normal?! My brain is completely consumed with all of the "what ifs" and even though I am a pretty positive person, the thoughts ain't too pretty...especially at 1:00a.m (now). It's the 1:00a.m. blues. There is no question that I am and always have been a dreamer. I think big and that has both its advantages and disadvantages. In this moment it's a disadvantage. 

My Roadtrip with Reason project is not where I had dreamed it would be. It's not that I am (too) disorganized, it's just that I haven't mastered a skill yet. The most important skill, of course! ENGAGEMENT! I am not sure how to engage as many people as I want to, and that seriously bothers me. Yes, it's just a project and i know it's not going to change the world and blah blah blah....but I want to inspire! I want to make some kind of difference, big or small. I can't do that without at least engaging the people around me.

Don't get me wrong, I have an audience. I look at my stats! Hundreds of peeps visit here daily (like you, maybe) but typically leave without saying anything. Why are you so shy?! Hah. To try and make myself feel better, I remind myself that I do it too. Since I have joined the Twitter world and have been introduced to hundreds of incredible travel bloggers, I find myself reading blog post after blog post and I don't always leave a comment either. I guess it's just human nature?

I think what it comes down to is that I (sometimes) feel inadequate. I don't have a niche! 
I am not a travel blogger (though I sure wish I could get in on their awesome inner circle). 
I am not a journalist (it's obvious, eh?). 
I am not a videographer. 
I am not a non-profit guru. 
I am definitely not Volunteer of the year. 
I have no idea where I fit in.

I know there are always hiccups along the way but tonight I am definitely feeling like the nerdy younger sister that no one wants to play with.  I look at other projects similar to mine and can't help but feel entirely envious. What magical powder are they taking?! Where do I get it?! Note: This is not my subtle way of seeking out a drug dealer. Please leave that kind of magical powder at home. Haha.

I know when I wake up tomorrow things will feel better. Something exciting will happen and I will scratch another thing off of my 'To Do' list and the day will move on...

I DO know what I am doing.
I can do it!
I will.

I just hope that the 1:00 a.m. panic eventually turns into the 1:00 a.m quality sleep.

Sweet dreams.

ZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

7 Comments
Sarah link
5/19/2011 02:37:51 am

Don't panic! This is an outstanding project, one that will both raise awareness and teach you so much about yourself as you go.

You have a following and I bet its larger than you think. I work in volunteer engagement myself and I've talked about it with volunteers on a few occasions- I've even been asked for updates!

Keep up the great work, you're inspiring and we're watching!

Reply
Lisa
5/19/2011 02:46:54 am

Don't panic! *Hug*

Reply
Andrew
5/19/2011 05:57:25 am

I am normally one of the people that views the page and then leaves without commenting... not this time!

From what I can tell you are someone who has the courage to take on this challenge as an example for others. Very inspiring. You got me looking into NPO's around here.

Keep it up.

Reply
Ana
5/19/2011 08:49:37 am

Eek, I always forget to leave a comment too! Sometimes I think when you're reading a personal blog... you almost feel like you've had a conversation or something, why can't you read my thoughts while I read your blog? Hehe

Anyway, don't get down Becky, you're doing an amazing project here! I think once you're on your trip and updating us, people will get even more and more interested! This is just "pre-production" stage...

Reply
Sara Farnell
5/19/2011 11:09:18 pm

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKJ2DBmjuEk

<3

Reply
Roadtrip with Reason link
5/20/2011 06:49:05 am

Ahh. You are all too sweet! Thanks so much for the feeback and kind words. Onwards & upwards! <3

P.S. Sara! Perfect song choice :)

Reply
Mama C.
5/20/2011 01:29:54 pm

Well Bexsy, Friday must look like a different day for you now that you have your confirmation for Pepsi. Onward and upward - the journey is beginning and you will be ready to do all the great things you want to do. Heck, I'm inspired!

Reply



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    Welcome! My name is Becky. I took a roadtrip across Canada, from July to November 2011. This roadtrip was a special one though, because it had reason!

    Go through my blog history to catch up on my 4-month cross-Canada roadtrip where I supported small non-profit organizations and explored the idea of volunteerism. It was so inspiring, life changing and so much FUN...

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